11/27/11

I haven't been feeling well as of late. And By "well" I don't mean I feel sick. Im not sick. I mean "well" as in mental wellness. I feel like I'm starting to loose my self. I haven't had these kind of moods in a long time. Like I haven't felt like this in about a year or two when I was at home and going to school in london.

Don't get me wrong. I love it hear in Halifax. I just feel like since i'm hear my life should of gotten a little bit better, and it has in some ways. As far as I know Im doing well in school. All my classes are going well and I don't have any complaints. But I still have this weird feeling in the back of my head that something just doesn't feel right.

This is what I want right? I feel like I keep questioning myself for what I want from life. What I want to be and where I want to go. And now that these thoughts are back I don't know what I want anymore. I feel lost. I thought that the whole journal thing from my writing class would be a great idea. But I find its causing me to question things that happen in my life, like with things that happen between me and my friends and its like its making me over think things.

some of my friends think that its because I live alone, that I have a lot of time to think. But when Im at home I dont really think at all. some of them think its because I'm home sick and I just miss my friends at home. and I think that does add to it a little. I do miss my friends that I left back in ontario. But I new that if I didnt come out here, I would of spent another year hating myself. And I don't want that again.

I just want to get out of this haze and feel like myself again.