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Saturday, March 6, 2010

more blah blah

twitter = jessydonn


and uh here.

I know I'm crazy.

I can't sleep, and if I do. It doesn't last long.
I can't think. I hear, things. Voices all the time, in the back of my head.
they don't stop. She doesn't stop.
A constant Why. She says, repeated. Why. Why, Jessy, Whats wrong with me.
Why is this happening.
I close my eyes. Peace. thats all I need. Just silence.
My heart aches, cold. My hands, numb.
I'm tired. I just want sleep.

I wrote that a couple of days ago. Its about what happened to me last year. my roommate had a breakdown and tried to kill herself. there was a lot of things that happened that night. some things that are just really hard to get out of my head and they just keep resurfacing in my head.

I thought that I could deal with it by myself, just keep it in and forget about it. but that just doesn't happen. one of my closest friends told me that I needed to talk about it. get some help. he was right, so right. He told me that I have Post-tramatic stress. and he is bang on. and with my history of MD that doesn't really help me much. I found that, with what happened, its starting to get easier to talk about. but that still doesn't help me sleep at night.