I'm going to take a break from writing for a bit, so i'll be posting some video's and some of my vlogs from my youtube channel
We'll see how this goes.. hahaha
About Me
- SpiderSkull
- "JGallery" where I talk about my artwork and show my pre-painting sketches and drawings and crap like that
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Experiment (post 1)
Social Experiment No. 1
This experiment is to gather information on societies ignorance of what is considers “normal” and “not-normal”.
I myself am more comfortable wearing synthetic dreads, make up and dark clothing. Does society consider me a “normal” individual? No. Since I don’t meet societies standards of what is considered normal, I’ve taken it upon myself to conduct this experiment.
This experiment is more for the reaction of the everyday person.
My Father- Hates the fact that I wear dark clothes and put synthetic extensions in my hair. me wants me to have “normal” hair. but even when I don’t have them in. I’m still the same.
My Mother- Thinks that my extensions are cool, and believes that I should do what I want, and not care what others think
( WOO MOM )
My Brother- Thinks that I’m weird
Random people ( that are way older)- they think that its really “neat” that I can walk around with my hair like this. Some of the older ladies I’ve met believe that, though they don’t understand why I do it, believe that its a right that we have to express are selves as individuals of are subculture.
However not a lot of the people I meet on the street are not that open minded. Blurting out things just to put us down.
others just stare. and some glare at me when I walk down the street.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why are people so afraid of people like this? does the “gothic-punk” style offend people so much that they will take it upon themselves to ridicule and hurt people like this?
Sophie Lancaster didn’t harm anyone. She didn’t Judge anyone. She was just a girl so full of life. And yet she was killed because she was apart of the gothic subculture.
Will this happen to me? will this happen to other people that are like me?
This experiment is to gather information on societies ignorance of what is considers “normal” and “not-normal”.
I myself am more comfortable wearing synthetic dreads, make up and dark clothing. Does society consider me a “normal” individual? No. Since I don’t meet societies standards of what is considered normal, I’ve taken it upon myself to conduct this experiment.
This experiment is more for the reaction of the everyday person.
My Father- Hates the fact that I wear dark clothes and put synthetic extensions in my hair. me wants me to have “normal” hair. but even when I don’t have them in. I’m still the same.
My Mother- Thinks that my extensions are cool, and believes that I should do what I want, and not care what others think
( WOO MOM )
My Brother- Thinks that I’m weird
Random people ( that are way older)- they think that its really “neat” that I can walk around with my hair like this. Some of the older ladies I’ve met believe that, though they don’t understand why I do it, believe that its a right that we have to express are selves as individuals of are subculture.
However not a lot of the people I meet on the street are not that open minded. Blurting out things just to put us down.
others just stare. and some glare at me when I walk down the street.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why are people so afraid of people like this? does the “gothic-punk” style offend people so much that they will take it upon themselves to ridicule and hurt people like this?
Sophie Lancaster didn’t harm anyone. She didn’t Judge anyone. She was just a girl so full of life. And yet she was killed because she was apart of the gothic subculture.
Will this happen to me? will this happen to other people that are like me?
Monday, July 12, 2010
I haven't been feeling myself lately
I decided to take a bit of a brake from the internet for a little bit. but I will be posting short vlogs on my YouTube Channel.
Hopefully I can get back to myself.
Hopefully I can get back to myself.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Post-Tramatic Stress + mental breakdown = one hell of a fucking year
It wasn't a mental breakdown. lets just make that part clear.. it was more of a.. rage attack than anything else. A rage/panic attack that lasted a grand ol' 45 minutes and ended with me breaking a majority of my plates and cups. What can I say, breaking stuff makes me feel better. After my little episode, I was completely relaxed and it helped me sort out what I needed to do, and that was to get happy. Or at least close to it.
My Post-tramatic stress was brought on by what happened before I started my second year of college. My roommate tried to kill herself, but luckily I was there to call the police and stop it. I just to think that it was my fault, that the reason she wanted to off herself was because I wasn't that nice to her and that she didn't really have many friends. She was an exchange student and was failing everything. I remember her coming home crying because she failed her entry to english thing. I think that her home sickness was an aid in her thoughts, she would stay up all night talking really loud on her phone and I wouldn't be able to sleep because of it. After this little experience I decided that what happened didn't change me, but made me more aware of what this sort of thing does to people. If you kill yourself, how many people does it affect, and if your unsuccessful, how many people d you "damage".
All of this, added on to my final year of college. The stress, not just from what happened previous, but from my earlier experiences from high school and my home life. Left me emotionally detached, as some would say. I didn't do too well in the first part of the year, the first four months of school were horrible actually. And after breaking up with my boyfriend at the time, it made me realize how much he was holding me back. And maybe if I ended it in first year I would of done a FUCK of a lot better. When I was with [Name] he made me feel like I wasn't good enough to do want I wanted to do, he would tell me that I should "learn how to Draw" and that I didn't know how to use pencils properly, and that I should learn how to paint. He would alway give me really bad advice about how to go about doing my work, and it would end up looking like shit. But after I ended it, he started complementing my work, which he has NEVER done before. After a while i'm sure that even he realized that he was holding me back, after are relationship ended, the day I got my first A was the day he failed a grading. And for the first time in a while I actually felt good about what I was doing. And my work quality started to improve sevenfold. When this year ended, a month or so into the summer I got a letter saying that I made the Deans list, and that I had a GPA of 4.0. Now, when I was in high school my grade average was in the high 80's but I never made it to be on the honour role. High school was easy, since with the way I am and the way I looked scared a lot of people, they would leave me alone, and I would finish my work. Don't get me wrong, I did have a friends when I was in high school most of them were more just people that would say the occasional "hello" in the halls, but I had a few close friends that would keep me in check, kind of like the friends I have now. I've never been considered for anything school wise before, so getting put of the Dean's list made me really excited.
Now graduation is coming up, and i'm rather interested in what my prof's have to say, if anything at all.
I still have a lot to work out, in my head. I need a better way of dealing with my anger, and my depressive moods. The one thing that helped to most was my work, my art. so I believe that if I keep doing what i'm doing now I can become a happier person.
My Post-tramatic stress was brought on by what happened before I started my second year of college. My roommate tried to kill herself, but luckily I was there to call the police and stop it. I just to think that it was my fault, that the reason she wanted to off herself was because I wasn't that nice to her and that she didn't really have many friends. She was an exchange student and was failing everything. I remember her coming home crying because she failed her entry to english thing. I think that her home sickness was an aid in her thoughts, she would stay up all night talking really loud on her phone and I wouldn't be able to sleep because of it. After this little experience I decided that what happened didn't change me, but made me more aware of what this sort of thing does to people. If you kill yourself, how many people does it affect, and if your unsuccessful, how many people d you "damage".
All of this, added on to my final year of college. The stress, not just from what happened previous, but from my earlier experiences from high school and my home life. Left me emotionally detached, as some would say. I didn't do too well in the first part of the year, the first four months of school were horrible actually. And after breaking up with my boyfriend at the time, it made me realize how much he was holding me back. And maybe if I ended it in first year I would of done a FUCK of a lot better. When I was with [Name] he made me feel like I wasn't good enough to do want I wanted to do, he would tell me that I should "learn how to Draw" and that I didn't know how to use pencils properly, and that I should learn how to paint. He would alway give me really bad advice about how to go about doing my work, and it would end up looking like shit. But after I ended it, he started complementing my work, which he has NEVER done before. After a while i'm sure that even he realized that he was holding me back, after are relationship ended, the day I got my first A was the day he failed a grading. And for the first time in a while I actually felt good about what I was doing. And my work quality started to improve sevenfold. When this year ended, a month or so into the summer I got a letter saying that I made the Deans list, and that I had a GPA of 4.0. Now, when I was in high school my grade average was in the high 80's but I never made it to be on the honour role. High school was easy, since with the way I am and the way I looked scared a lot of people, they would leave me alone, and I would finish my work. Don't get me wrong, I did have a friends when I was in high school most of them were more just people that would say the occasional "hello" in the halls, but I had a few close friends that would keep me in check, kind of like the friends I have now. I've never been considered for anything school wise before, so getting put of the Dean's list made me really excited.
Now graduation is coming up, and i'm rather interested in what my prof's have to say, if anything at all.
I still have a lot to work out, in my head. I need a better way of dealing with my anger, and my depressive moods. The one thing that helped to most was my work, my art. so I believe that if I keep doing what i'm doing now I can become a happier person.
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